Mommy, can I go out and golf tonight? The Misfits come to Hilton Head

(From The Guide, 12/4)

Hilton Head Island still has its baby teeth when it comes to this whole “punk” thing, seeing as the island’s first major punk show took place just two months ago when Against Me! and Ted Leo blew through town.

But now that the Misfits are on their way, it’s time to grow up fast, kids.

The Misfits are responsible for one of the most recognizable symbols in all of punk rock: the “fiend skull,” the grinning white skeletal outline on a black background that’s become a keynote symbol of the genre, right up there with the three-chord riff, the Ramones’ seal and the purple-highlighted mohawk.

With their performance at the Shoreline Ballroom this week, the Misfits will bring to the island a 30-year history as one of the most theatric, macabre and long-lasting names in all of rock. It probably will be the most hardcore show in Hilton Head history, with the emphasis on themes of horror, sci-fi and gore (very rarely, for example, does the island host bands with lyrics like, “Your future is in an oblong box”).

It’s the hardcore fan base — the Fiend Club, as they’re known — that has kept the band going all these years, lead singer Jerry Only said in a phone interview before a Dallas show on the day before Thanksgiving. The Misfits’ music never got much radio play, but it was always relevant to their fans, he said.

“It’s out there, even though it’s not really extremely visible to the eye. It’s something that’s well known, well-established,” Only said. “(The fans) kind of tend to hold on to it and make it their own. We have one of the most loyal fan bases out there.”

Only was the band’s original bassist, but he took over lead singer duties following a lengthy legal battle over the rights to the band with former lead Glenn Danzig, who left the group in the early 1980s. Since reforming in the mid-’90s, the new incarnation of the Misfits has released three albums, appeared in films and continued to tour.

“I think that we’re a very well-rounded package. We have a little bit of everything. The sound is unique, (so is) the material and the way we do what we do,” Only said. “I think that’s one of the things that have allowed us to float through the changing of the musical guard.”

Only said the band plans to take a few years off soon to work on new music and prepare a new show.

“We’re not looking to become big commercial success. But at the same time, we are looking to become a force to be reckoned with,” he said. “I’d love to go head to head with Iron Maiden and hold our own.”

Plus, Only wants to spend time with his 2-year-old daughter, who, unlike other children, isn’t scared by his make up, spiked leather stage outfit or his trademark hairstyle. “She doesn’t even notice it,” he said.

So as a part of one iconic band, what does Only think of the much-discussed exploits of Guns N’ Roses, a band that has covered Misfits songs in the past? Guns N’ Roses this month released “Chinese Democracy” after years of anticipation.

“I don’t buy the hype. I could give a (blank),” he said, adding that any band that takes that long to put out an album is just out for money. The Misfits’ 1983 album, “Earth A.D.,” for example, was recorded in about six hours, Only said. “I’m out there playing and taking it to the kids every day,” he said. “We’re out there beating the streets and making it real.”

Link: Official Misfits site.

Ted Leo and the Pharmacists: Just what the doctor ordered

(The Guide, 9/26/08) -- When your trusty yet vigilant and skeptical Guide staff first heard a rumor about Ted Leo coming to Hilton Head Island, a contest immediately arose to see who in the newsroom believed it least.

No one here wanted to fall prey to what was certainly an apocryphal story, that a political powerhouse who once earned comparisons to punk royalty Fugazi and the Clash would soon be slashing his way through the manicured landscape of Hilton Head.

We were never so happy to be wrong.

It turns out that Leo's actually been to Hilton Head many times (though not to play music), and has fond memories of it. But when Leo and his band the Pharmacists return to the island Oct. 2, on tour with Against Me! and Future of the Left, it will be a day for the history books. Here's why:

Question. We did a little bit of research, and we think this may be the first punk show in Hilton Head history.

Answer. I used to go out with someone who lived on Hilton Head. I used to actually go down there a lot and visit her and we'd hang out and see shows in Savannah.

But there was one night where some ska band that I actually knew from New York was playing at like some crazy frat bar, and we went. And I remember her being so freaked out, like, 'God, this is so weird, there's actually a band that's not like the String Cheese Incident or Widespread Panic or something that's playing here.'

Wow, but I would have figured since then, that since there are kind of 'punk' shows everywhere, I'm surprised to hear that I'm the first.

Q. How does that feel?

A. It's exciting. It's auspicious. I had no idea.

Q. What's it like going from a big tour with Pearl Jam back to playing little clubs?

A. It's not that awing to be on a big stage. In fact, it's usually not that fun.

In the middle of the Pearl Jam tour, we had some days off and we threw in some of our own shows. So we went from playing the Verizon Center in D.C., which is like 18,000 people, to playing a 200-capacity art gallery in Richmond, Va., and you know, that was kind of actually more fun. I hate to limit our ambitions, but it feels much more at home.

Q. So you still prefer the smaller venues?

A. Our tours are always kind of up-and-down like that, to a certain degree, and that also is really nice. It's like you go from playing at Metro in Chicago to the aquarium in Fargo, N.D.

It's a nice way to keep things in perspective, I guess is what I'm trying to say. The Fargo show can be just as fun, and almost feel like more important in some ways.

Q. You guys have been around for a while, and have a big following. Do you still enjoy introducing new people to music when you're in strange places?

A. Definitely. I don't think we play any different in those circumstances, whether it's somewhere relatively new or whether it's somewhere we've been a million times. What it actually enables us to do was kind of change our set list up in ways that we normally wouldn't. It's not like a total hometown crowd. In a weird way, it gives you a little more freedom to be a little looser in your choices.

Q. Do you ever edit your own Wikipedia page?

A. No (laughs). Should I? I don't look at it. I don't really want to know what people are saying about me on there. I think the last time I looked at it was probably two years ago, when I first realized there was a Wikipedia page for me: 'Oh, wow, that's interesting. Hmm, that's not true. Oh, that's true, I guess.'

I think things like that are better. Unless it's meant to be some kind of professional resume that I have specific things that I want to be mentioned on it, I would prefer to just let people do that if they want to do it.

Q. Anything else you want to say about the tour?

A. Just psyched to go back to that beach.

Billboard moment

I had something published on Billboard.com today. Ted Leo, you're a class act all around. Also, I had to send an e-mail that began this way to my managing editor yesterday.

so you may or may not have a random and very confused sounding punk rocker on your voice mail today.....

It was a very odd day. At some point today, maybe I'll actually focus on covering my beat for the publication that actually pays me on a regular basis. No promises.

Also, Reason No. 2 in the Four Weeks of Ted Leo, our effort to fill a local club with at least a respectable number of curious audiophiles.

Exceptional Publicity

Effing. Fantastic. Just got this e-mail back from Ted Leo's folk:

From: Touch and Go Quarterstick
Sent: Mon 9/8/2008 2:34 PM
Subject: Re: Ted Leo comes to the posh rock

Hey T -

GREAT to hear from you. Teddy isn't really doing press but I'll make an exception for you! Hilton Head needstaknow! :)

Will 9/15 work for you?

That's right: Ted Leo isn't doing interviews, but they're making an exception for the small newspaper on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. Because, even though it may kill us, reducing our bodies to chunky ash residue that will be used to fertilize the fairway of the 8th hole at Heron Point, we're going to force this place to accept the punk. LEARN IT. KNOW IT. LIVE IT.

If I can quote the ever estimable Jeff Vrabel: "EAT (poo), PITCHFORK"

Also, even if they didn't set up the interview, I still have his cell phone number in my phone from our interview two years ago. Stalker much? Maybe a little. But I've never called it, not even drunk.

Bright Eyes, Small City?

Fresh off the news that Ted Leo is coming to Hilton Head, we found out Friday that Conor Oberst will play here in November. Repeat: that's two Pitchfork favorites playing on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina within a month of each other. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE??? We're through the looking glass here, people.


I swear to blog, if this place turns into the new Williamsburg the minute I move away, I will come back and go all sickhouse on every bed-headed person I see. Then I'll take up golf and yell at these bastards to turn that infernal racket down because I can't hear the sound of my yacht drying. Next come the cranky letters to the editor. Oh you think you've seen cranky letters to the editor before, but just you wait. The words "shocked and appalled" will be armed with an unprecedented sense of outrage that will send fear rippling through every ironic T-shirt in a 50-mile radius.

In related news, we're running Four Weeks of Ted Leo in The Guide to lead up to the show. Why? Because we don't want to embarrass Hilton Head by having Ted and the boys play to a crowd of six local newspaper reporters.

Reason No. 1: This may be the first punk show in the history of Hilton Head.

Counting Down the Hours: Ted Leo's Southern Mystery Tour

What's that sound? Oh, don't mind me -- it's just the sound of MY HEAD EXPLODING.

No, gentle reader, this is not some photoshopped chicanery by malicious interweb trolls out to shatter my already fragile psyche. This is true, verified and confirmed by all sorts of PR people and club managers. Ted Leo, TED FREAKIN LEO, is booked to come to posh, docile little Hilton Head Island. You must immerse yourself in perspective to fully comprehend this. Several items to consider:

1) In the three years I've been here, musical acts on Hilton Head have included:
-Journey
-Foreigner
-Hootie and the Blowfish (x2)
-Blues Traveler (x2)
-Spin Doctors
-Tantric
-George Clinton
-Ride the Lightning (Metallica cover band)
-Fishbone
-Kenny Rogers
-Chevelle
-Eduardo Dinero (BKA Eddie Money)*
-Black Light Burns
-Dionne Warwick
-Brian Howe

2) A typical playlist at an island bar consists of the following, either in recorded or live cover version:
"Sweet Home Alabama"
"Cheeseburger in Paradise"
"That Was a Crazy Game of Poker"
"Don't Cha"
"The Thong Song"
"Let the Good Times Roll"
"Sweet Home Alabama"
Various by Linkin Park
The latest Usher song
The latest Kid Rock song
"Piano Man"
"Hollaback Girl"
"Sweet Home Alabama"
"Piano Man"
"Bad Day"
"Brown Eyed Girl"
"Sweet Home Alabama" into "Cheeseburger in Paradise"
"Back in Black"
"You're Beautiful"

Put that playlist into your headPod and hit repeat. Allow it to play for 625 days straight, and you get the picture.

3) Approximate number of people on Hilton Head who know of Ted Leo's existence: 8
Approximate number of people outside The Island Packet who know of Ted Leo's existence: 2
(margin of error +/- 2)

4) Activities of the average Ted Leo fan: leftist political protests; music blogging; purchasing pomade for mohawk; cataloging Joe Strummer b-side discs; checking Barack Obama's Twitter page.
Activities of average Hilton Head resident: golfing, yacht shopping, aging, complaining about illegal immigrants; polishing "W '04" bumper sticker; stopping randomly in the fast lane on major highways; remembering things the way they used to be; taking family pictures in khaki pants and white T-shirts on the beach.

All this adds up to a pretty ridiculously improbable appearance for Teddy and his crew. They just got done playing in front of thousands at sold-out shows at MSG and elsewhere opening for Pearl Jam. Now they're going to play in front of four local newspaper staff writers and maybe a handful of state-line jumping hipsters from Savannah. Jawsome.

I don't understand it, but goddamnit am I excited for it. We figure Ted is going to be forced to hang out with us after the show, because, let's face it: what else is he gonna do? The Wild Wing Cafe is not, we can be certain, where the rude boys have gone.

RELATED:
• Column: What's a loud band like you doing in a nice place like this?
• Interview with Ted Leo, when he toured through Orlando and Atlanta in 2007


* You need to read this interview my roommate did with Eddie Money, for this quote alone:
Q. How often are you on the road?
A. I'm on the road every weekend if I can help it. Everyone in the band has kids and they're divorced so everyone's miserable. So if they didn't work for me they'd go work for Styx or R.E.O. (Speedwagon). I try to keep the band happening.

Column: What's a loud band like you doing in a nice place like this?

(As originally appeared in The Guide, 7/11) — It was a strange feeling last Thursday to be on the way to a concert on Hilton Head Island and considerably excited about it. It was a surreal mixture of emotions, the same feeling you might get if you walked into your elementary school cafeteria one day to discover that instead of cold spaghetti and mystery tacos, they were serving fresh Big Macs and chocolate Fribbles.

This weird cognitive dissonance followed me all the way to the island’s new Shoreline Ballroom to see a concert by Old Crow Medicine Show, a band of young guys who play old-time bluegrass (and with plenty of credibility too — they’re veterans of the festival circuit and spent the following night opening for the Dave Matthews Band in Charleston).

My prior experience with the Hilton Head music scene had been sparse, seeing as there isn’t much of a music scene to experience— which is fine, because that’s not what people come here for. The golf, beaches and restaurants are the big draws, so the island can get away with an overabundance of classic-rock cover bands to entertain vacationers or the occasional Sublime wannabe for the younger crowds.

To find consistently solid live music, the faithful are used to trekking to Charleston (where Bruce Springsteen will be in August), Jacksonville (which hosted Tom Waits last week) and occasionally Savannah (where Cat Power, the Dropkick Murphys and Regina Spektor all stopped recently). It’s called a trade-off, people, and it’s something you come to accept living on a serene resort island. The plays, orchestra performances and art shows are aimed at an older crowd, and the rest of us sit on the beach and cope.

So you’ll pardon the skid marks I left on the ground after entering the Shoreline when I looked at a poster of possible upcoming acts on the wall and saw some names that I assumed were a mirage my brain created after three years in the live music desert.

I rubbed my eyes, and it was still there: Under the heading “In the Works” were several bands I’d not only seen, but actually driven as far away as Orlando to catch live. It was a wishlist, for sure, but the sheer ambition of going after bands like the Drive-By Truckers, Of Montreal, Z.Z. Top and B.B. King is impressive in its own right.

One name stood out as a surely a ludicrous typo: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists. These D.C.-area punks have toured small clubs nationally for years, occasionally riding the coattails of a larger band like Pearl Jam on bigger tours. And I was pretty sure that no one outside the small circle of music nerds I know had any idea who they were. But make no mistake, they will rock your teeth back into your skull.

So what would they be doing on Hilton Head?

We asked the Shoreline staff, and they said that there was indeed a good chance the band will make an appearance on the island with slightly more radio-friendly punks Against Me. The staffer we talked to said the owner has experience booking bigger acts in Columbia, and is testing the waters on Hilton Head. “We’re trying to make it a little more exciting,” she said.

When you think about it, it’s not hard to believe the island could sustain a thriving music venue. The island’s crowds are getting younger. Shows could draw from Beaufort and Savannah, which is stocked with a profusion of hipster kids, though the town is woefully underserved by music venues.

Plus, you can sell it to acts as a vacation trip, a quick detour. Call up Leo, and suggest he take a nice beach vacation to rest up from all that power political punk. Maybe throw in some golf, a few steak and seafood dinners, and you’ve got yourself a deal. This would work better, of course, if Ted Leo wasn’t a vegan. Let’s hope he likes the beach.

Related: I interterviewed Ted Leo (and recorded his outgoing voice mail message) a year ago for no apparenent reason.