A Graphical Depiction of Productivity

Sigh. If only I were kidding. The Legend of Zelda music. Is. Still. Awesome.

EDIT: I guess I should have added "Creating bar graph" to that also.

The Final Fantasy

What Samus would wear:




What is it about the classic NES that just won't ever fully vacate our collective psyche? For me, I assume the reason is related to having been more or less raised by Link, Dr. Mario and the Elevator Action guy while my parents were off running a crime ring at the local high school with frat boys. OK, that part is not true. Wait, I think that's the plot of River City Ransom. See?

Nintendo basically colonized my brain in the late 80s and never ceded its imperial rule. I have to check the calendar to remember family members' birthdays each year, too often have to look up how to spell simple words like "canceled" and "naseau" and still to this day have to read the instructions each time I make a box of macaroni and cheese, but I can recall in the flash of a finger how to escape the Lost Woods (North, West, South, West ... bitch) and which tombstone hides the Magic Sword. Like anyone from that generation, I'll probably be tapping out the Contra code from my deathbed, long after dementia has taken hold and I couldn't distinguish between a doctor and Battletoad, in a vain attempt to get 29 more chances at life.

This is our blessing, and also our curse. As for the Geekini, it's only a conceptual design by French aritst John Nouanesing and may never end up in stores. The bigger problem of course would be finding a girl willing to wear it, especially considering where the "start" button is located (see below). Hit the select button for a two-player game.

Next steps in Nintendorotica: the vibrating Power Glove, the latex Power Pad, and the full-body Tanooki suit, for the furry crowd.

Raiders of the Master System

This museum-worthy piece of art, titled "Nobody Wants to Play Sega With Harrison Ford," comes from Brandon Bird, the artist responsible for such modern masterpieces as "Lazy Sunday Afternoon" depicting Christopher Walken tinkering in the workshop on what appears to be a prototype of Optimus Prime; and "King of the Cage" demonstrating Lincoln's true strengths used in keeping the Union together.



There is, I think, a deeper truth spoken through this work in light of the release of the wholly unnecessary fourth Indiana Jones movie, the one filled with the grumpy, tired old man who resembles the Harrison Ford of old. Nintendo, you see, was always the company that stuck with the beloved and tested pillars of video gaming that translated into success from Donkey Kong to Wii Fit. Fun, reliable play that was good to return to over and over again. Sega was the company that tried to come in and shake things out a bit, add fancy new devices and trendy gimmicks that tried to capture the diversions of the day. You abandon that sense of wonderment and fun that Nintendo clung to and it will only get you so far.
So it went for the latest Indy movie, somewhere between the CGI gophers and the travelogues through the part of the Earth where physics cease to exist and spills down several gigantic waterfalls don't result in any damages to person, vehicle or momentum. Really people would have been happy to be back to basics all along.

Then again, if Harrison Ford walked up to me and asked me to play Altered Beast with him, you bet your ass I'd werewolf down in a second.