Best conversation I had all day

Actual text of the chat I had with Bank of America through the suspiciously named "LiveChat by LivePerson" program.

Valerie: Hello. Thank you for being a valued Bank of America customer. My name is Valerie. How may I assist you with your personal banking needs today?

You: Hi - I just passed my second anniversary with Keep the Change and haven't seen my annual match show up in my account yet. It was deposited by this time last year.

Valerie: I will certainly assist you in this regard.

You: ok thanks

Valerie: I understand your concern regarding the promotional match of Keep The Change Service.

Valerie: You will receive the promotional incentive, after eight weeks of the Anniversary.

You: do you know what that date will be?

Valerie: I kindly request you to wait for one more month as the exact date can differ.

You: bah - the deposit appeared in November last year. Why is it so different this year?

Valerie: after the second anniversary on 11/13/08, you will receive the incentive within eight weeks.

You: all right all right

You: thanks for your help

You: are you a real person or a program?

You: my guess is program

Valerie: Yes.

Valerie: I am a human, Bank of America associate.

You: where are you located?

Valerie: I am a Bank of America associate located in India.

Valerie: Do you have any other queries regarding your personal checking and savings accounts?

You: sorry to hear about all that stuff in Mumbai

Valerie: I too feel bad for this.

Valerie: Thank you for your kind response on the incident in Mumbai.

You: you have been very helpful. usually when I call the hotline, I get some rude American person

Valerie: Timothy, That's really kind of you. Pleasure was all mine in assisting a valued customer like you.

You: I'm sorry I called you a computer program

Valerie: Happy Holidays for you and your Family!!! Happy Christmas to you.

Valerie: No problem. That's okay.
You: Valerie?
*UNABLE TO SEND MESSAGE*

TAKE THAT, INSOLVENCY!

I challenge you to find a euphoria greater than the one that immediately proceeds successfully fighting your bank on an overdraft fee. That $35 lands back in your account like warm cocoa cascading down an icy winter's throat chaffed with the bitter winds and sharp daggers of arctic chaos. Huh? That's nonsense. I'm clearly still delirious with the ecstasy. Especially since the overdraft was for a charge of FIFTEEN EFFING CENTS. And, let's be serious, Bank of America (and any bank really) isn't in a position to be pissing off customers these days.